Praying for Ana to return

It has been approximately six months since my last post here, and over this time i have been within kgs of reaching my goal and at times the heaviest i have ever been. I sit here now as i think back to when i thought 55.5kg was horrendous, but now at 59.5 I honestly want to die knowing this. Its disgusting. I miss the times when Ana made happy, when I would relate anything and everything to Ana and our way of life. Sitting here now, i pray for Ana to hear my prayers, for her to rescue me from this disgraceful way of life and make me beautiful! Please Ana, I beg you to save me. I promise to never let you go again, we will forever be partners. Please!!